Eihwaz

The Eihwaz Rune represents the yew tree, and some believe the rune to be a symbol of death, and to have a connection with the "World Tree" Yggdrasil.

The point at which the upper and lower worlds meet in Midgard...

I was sort of forced to ponder death for the past year. I've never truly been that close to death to completely immerse myself in the thought of after-death to truly try and understand it.

I've been able to see death up close and feel what it does. I've seen the pain it causes, physically and mentally, to the one dying and to those around them. I've seen a death that, I originally believed, was not glorious.

But I'm less afraid now than I ever was. I used to be crippled by the thought of losing someone close, and I've been very aware of my own mortality through my entire life. Maybe age changes us in that regard but I feel some kind of metaphysical bond to something beyond this world, and thats not by the act of time passing.

I've felt and conjured the notion of a different kind of energy. In a rush of unfettered emotion on a car ride home, I was able to pinpoint a comfortable view of death.

I also have realized the idea of glory in death. To see those around us rush to our aid, no matter how much pain we're in, how difficult things are - to see that we've reached out to those around us enough for them to love us that much...

That's a glorious death.

The connections we make, the "social contracts" we sign and the emotions exchanged between our persons will bind us together forever. I truly believe that the pain you feel and share, the struggles you face with others, the joy and elation, love, and everything in between pulls us closer than just the physical and emotional connections. As if some energy reaches in between us and holds us close, no matter how or when we return to being dust. Like a tree's roots and branches reaching toward the sun and beneath our feet, grasping every sort of energy it can. This is truly how we live forever.

Make connections, share your true feelings, build the energy between each other and after we return to the stars, we'll see each other in a new universe.

We'll see each other in eternity.

Momentum

I talked on here a lot about my mother, I find it cathartic to speak about her and my journey to be transformative.

Going through our first holidays without my mom was strange and difficult. Leading up to them and knowing I was going to be experiencing them without her, I was going through some changes, some uncontrolled and some by my own doing. I pushed myself to a brink, in fact. I recognized the place I was in mentally then and where I had been for almost two years before. I took myself to the edge of an abyss and looked out into it. I stared my demons in the eyes. I also saw at that moment that only I had to power to push myself forward.

We carry demons. Those things that burden us. Fear, doubt, guilt, anger, depression, or what have you.  For a couple years now I've been letting them tear me apart. It's affected work, my personal life, my health, and others around me. After my mother's death I was just worse.

So I saw them, and I pushed myself to face them. We may never truly shake our demons, but we can keep them at bay.

I told myself that the start of the new year would be it. Specifically January 2nd, a Monday and the day we had nothing more to do with 2016. That morning I woke up and I was a new person.

I looked into the darkness, turned my back and walked away - my demons snarling and gnashing their teeth as they receded into the depths.

The Road

I'm now wholly and effectively focused on work, my relationships, and my health. I've made strides in my business and worked in new hobbies and interests. Soon we'll be moving, but we don't know where to yet, and this doesn't frighten me - it excites me. I recognize I'm in a similar state I was in when we moved to Charleston. When we came here, I could be a new, stronger person and love myself. I could experience new things and become the person I wanted to be.

I look forward to that opportunity again. So I pledge to keep moving, keep that momentum going and always carry the fire.

A Fresh Start

New beginnings in familiar places...

Since moving to Charleston just over two years ago, I've gone through changes of every sort. I've lost weight and gained weight, I've seen work flow in and have watched that work wane, felt the heartache of loss and the joys of love, and I've experienced a thousand more things that would take me ages to list. As these life changes continue from moment to moment I've often found my thoughts drifting into strange and wonderful places. Most of the time those places stay exactly where they start - in my thoughts. As I begin my third year in the Holy City, I decided to find a place to outlet those thoughts while updating my business to reflect exciting new ventures. 

Simply put, I've decided to increase productivity in my life from every angle. This blog will feature posts about my adventures, photography, weight loss, tech, a combination of the previous two in a "quantified self" perspective (but lets take it slow first), local and possibly national products, Charleston current events including some I've submitted to Grit (some #tbt sort of stuff as well), and whatever else is stirring around in my brain.

On this website you can also find photography and some video work (more to come very soon) done for all sorts of businesses throughout my growing career. As of this post, things are still changing and improving so hold on tight!

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